A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do

things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate

desires. She will make sure he

always feels as though he's the

most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, invincible...

OH, wait... I'm thinking of vodka. Never mind.